The filling of the belly along with the content feeling of nothingness fills my body with openness. Sounds of music and silence emerge and suffocate my being. A calm like no other creates a passion within that could not otherwise be obtained. Lights shining so brightly through the room almost seem blinding yet welcoming... as though there is something beyond the glow that must be found. How can such silence feel so good to the body? Wind, air, life... all flow passionately into me as my breath begins to soften. Belly rises, life is given a new meaning... Belly falls, worries and the chaos of everyday dissipates into the emptiness of the night, Smiles grow within. Along every breath is a new part of me, yearning to be seen. As i write, the sounds of music play soundly in my ears and the pen makes a tune of its own against the grain of tress that I decided to write upon. the melody of my heart pounds through the breaths I take. Less and less anxious I become and more willing I want to be. Willing to accept the CALM I am given with every breath I take. Willing to follow the light as it shines over my lifeless corps in a pool of desperation. The desperation to feel NOTHING. The desperation of life as it should be enjoyed. Beating drums fill my ears as the music continues to play. Beating so loud that it seems like my body jerks unknowingly to the bass, yearning, starving for more. Uneasy does my breath become but not for too long. Only long enough for me to realize that the utopia that I once felt has slipped slowly away. COME BACK!! Again the tune of nothing plays over and over inside my body, up and down... up and down. Belly rises and releases me of my worldly thoughts. Just me and my breath. no one else, nothing else. Just emptiness and th content nothingness of calm. Annoyed with the sound of pages flapping as I try to express myself, calmed by the wind of musical love filling my ears. A crescendo soft enough for the smallest insect to hear and loud enough for the skies to echo. This feeling of one controls me and I am in love, in love with me and the lights, in love with the rise and fall of my chest and belly as they create a melody of their own to the beat of my breath. Though I am controlled by nothing the distraction of life seeps through the cracks of my soul and try to disturb my peace. Only in this present moment I realize that anything else is non-existent and the sounds of the earth become amplified. So much so, that it almost feels better to be unable to hear and only to feel. I enjoy the solemn NOTHINGNESS. I enjoy the feeling of my belly rising and falling with the tune that my breathing creates.
